Alternate Universe

I hope you enjoyed the little welcome song - if you haven't listened to the above video, please do so before you continue reading on.


Thank you.

I want to thank several people who have helped me develop this blog - and also the creative input they've given.


Ok, I'm back. No one was home.

I've never served on a Jury. I think once the Defense finds out I'm Mormon that's pretty much a deal breaker for them. I don't know why, if I were on trial I would want someone like me on the jury. I like to think that I'm very pragmatic and non-judgmental. Yes - I believe that if someone did something wrong, then they should pay restitution for it. I think that is Justice. But what do I know?

Mystery Unraveled Pt. 1

Ok - so the faithful have spoken. I actually contemplated leaving the post up for a few days just to make sure everyone was able to make their peace. Then - almost as if Lord Heron of the Tundra Geese swooped down and pooped on my shoulder, I realized. I realized. I realized that I would go ahead and do whatever it is I want, and the majority of you will be well pleased.

It's not prideful, just a matter of fact.

To the right, your left, is a picture of a contact lens. When I was in the 5th grade (circa 1985) I received the unfortunate news that my vision was starting to fail. The reason I was getting headaches and lower grades were due to the fact that I needed glasses. Oh the agony.

How was my "girlfriend" Erica going to take the news? How could I accessorize my Members Only jacket with the coke-rimmed glasses I was sure that I was going to wear? What would this spell for my future successes?

Well - immediately I was dumped by Erica. I wore my cool Members Only jacket, and found out that I was no longer a member. But I could read what Mrs. Hall was writing on the board - and I became friends with Ben, who ate the glue (in FIFTH GRADE).

Yes - eyeglasses were the bane of my existence. Push-ups in gym class? Forget it. Coming in from the cold? Blind for three minutes and the focus of conversation. This went on right up to my sophomore year (circa 1990) in high school. This is when I was introduced to the Contact Lens.

The whole world opened back up to me. Life was good. However - upon my first follow-up visit with the Optometrist it was suggested that I may not be a good candidate for Contact Lenses for some reason. This lead to me not going in to the eye doctor for the next decade of my life. . . thank goodness for direct mail prescriptions.

So - I may be able to extrapolate and expound on what makes me tick regarding this; I'm not a shrink - I just do. Deal with it.

Fast forward to 2002ish. . . give or take a year. I was on a business trip into the big city Anchorage. One evening I went down to the pool and went for a swim. As I was finishing one of my last laps - I lost my contact lens. In the pool - I thought for a second that I could find it, but after five minutes of futility I realized that it was lost and gone forever. I was pissed.

I changed - went back to my room. Opened the yellow pages and found a Lasik Eye Doctor. I called them up and said I wanted the surgery done now.

Never mind that I hadn't gone in to be tested. Nevermind that I didn't talk it over with my wife. Nevermind that instead of getting on the phone and spending $30 to get a new contact lens that I was willing to shell out $3,000 per eye. What's a little deficit? I wanted Lasik - and I wanted it now.

Needless to say I didn't get Lasik that night. But I did end up getting it shortly afterward. My eyesight is now better than perfect - I can wake up in the middle of the night and see. I don't have to worry about losing a contact lens - or having to put on those darn glasses again, for the moment. So there's a little tidbit into myself. Feel free to discuss amongst yourselves or place an insight to let me know what you're thinking.

I think I covered all the bases. Oh - and there is an Easter Egg in this post. It will lead you to the picture I originally wanted to use, but decided to be more user friendly to the masses.

Transcript of Road Grime

It is Eskimo Bob Lives and this was the week that was. Today we're slowing things down a bit. . . enjoying the moment as it were.

Too often we get wrapped up in the hectic everyday. I'm hoping that this Monday post will speak to you. That you will be able to take a collective breath and smile that Spring has sprung. It is a time of change . . . as we transition of the dark and cold of winter into the vitality of Spring. Life beginning anew.

In the Good Book it says: To Everything There is A Season - and so it is here in the Big AK. Sunlight begins to linger and expand it's visits on a daily basis. The snow and ice begin to melt away, cleansing the earth and providing rivers and streams on the roadways and parking lots.

Driving down the Parks Highway from Wasilla to Anchorage and back again - it isn't the majesty of the Chugach range, or the expanse of the Matanuska Valley, or even the serenity of the Knik Arm that brings wonderment and awe. It is the continual road spray that covers your windshield.

This road spray is not a liquid nor is it a solid - but rather a grime that encrusts you; and heaven help if you do not have a full reservoir of windshield washer fluid. As mentioned earlier - this viscous element of road spray can easily be wiped by your wipers. However, it has a defense mechanism, almost a will to survive - for it will leave a film that starts out transparent - but becomes opaque as cataracts begin to cloud the iris. Subtly your vision is obscured and if you do not use wiper fluid - you will be completely covered and blinded - unable to see.

I'd like to think that the road spray does not intend to do harm - but if it can not obscure your vision - then surely it will go after your tires. As it lay on the road - waiting to be splattered across your windshield and headlights, it takes upon itself a nice icy glaze. So that hopefully you will be able to end up either in the meridian, or off the side of the road in the trees.

The road spray season is from Spring to late April. It is then that most of winters snow has left or the slight April showers that resurrect the grime of the winter road treatment. Then the commuters may enjoy the beauty of the area that is - unless their minds are focused on fishing, or using the windshield wiper fluid to remove the splatter of encrusted mosquitoes on the windshield.

So wherever you are - enjoy the day and we'll see you again on Eskimo Bob Lives.